I know why...

"It's summer, I can taste the salty sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me"

I'm beggining to realize WHY I don't want a boyfriend. Everytime I think about someone I compair them to Pedro. Am I EVER going to get over him? I feel like a fucking teenage girl... I saw him with his girlfriend at Blockbuster last Saturday, more than ever, I felt so pathetic. Its her, not me, can't I see it?
I guess in a way its good that I don't want anybody, at least I won't be disappointed b/c the person is not him. I noticed that today. I was thinking about a song and sunddenly I had this overwhelming feeling that any potential or, at leastI last guy I went out, wouldn't like it or at least wouldn't enjoy it as I know he would. As ridiculous as it sounds, I know that somethings that I like, I would want to do, even would say, nobody would give me the same response that he would. And, I don't understand, it was everything so perfect, I guess that was the problem, nothing is supposed to be perfect, when it is, its not mean to be.
I know that this feeling that I won't ever find someone like that will go away when I get over him, and by God, I've done everything I know or people told me to do. At the same Saturday I read this text that said that we SHOULD allow ourselves to reminese, think about it, and cry as much as I can so the feeling would run out and we will eventually let go of it. Does it work? I'm trying everything and this fucking PMS is not helping me.
I guess I'm more aware of my reality (its her, not me) but I won't lie that deep inside of me I wish still it was me. Specially when I remember the good stuff.
It will go away, right, I will forget him?
I hate PMS, I KNOW I am depressed b/c of it. Its fucking almost 4am and I'm still here, on internet, no job, no life, with cramps and I still plan on taking a shower before I go to bed. Tomorrow I will wake up late and have the same little frustrating and useless life. I'm mad at myself b/c I keep on fucking eatting chocolate and I'm still fucking fat. Its a fucking circle!
I know its not the end of the world and I will get over him. But right now I don't wanna be strong, I just wanna be like any other human being and cry b/c my heart was broken.

I feel like:
Pink - Just like a Pill

"I’m lyin’ here on the floor where you left me
I think I took too much
I’m cryin’ here, what have you done
I thought it would be fun"