Help?!!?

I'm not happy with myself. I've been studying (well, that part I like) and although it's been 3 months since I came back from that stupid place I still can't get over my ex. That's the part that I don't like. It feels it has been so many more months and that's getting harder and harder and now i'm starting to belive that I need therapy. Maybe it's PMS, or maybe it has reached a point where I can no longer control and deal with all of this.
I'm so upset, so sad, feeling so depressed and I just don't wanna feel this way anymore and I just don't know whatelse to do! It's such an overwhelming feeling!!!! I don't talk to the guy, I have no idea wht's been going on with his life, don't run into any of his friends and yet, his on my mind all the time.
It got to a point when I'm trying to fall asleep and all of my thoughts lead to him, even if I'm thinking about another guy or a quiet place; in some messed up way he pops up in my head; it's pathetic, ridiculous and I'm completely aware of all, still...
I just wanna let this go, it makes no sense to be in love with somebody that doesn't love me back I wanna forget and just be hsppy either alone or other person.
BAH! I hate this!

Little things...

It's been confusing days and at the same time happy days. Of course, as usual, I am going to make a list of things that has been happening...
* After many doubts and uncertanties I have made up my mind and I'm going to spend carnaval with my ex. God bless my decision and protect me from any bitch that may come near him, because I promise, "dick" will roll...
* Tuesday is my last hope for getting in college; I'm try with my remaining breath and hopefully will come back home happy and as a freshman.
* Tomorrow I'll be shopping for fabric for Saturday's party. Still gotta find something to do on Friday night, aside from that my whole week is booked. Sunday there'll be a tea party, Monday U2's concert, Tuesday japonese dinner and finally on Wednesday off I go to either happiness or complete hell.
* No anybody's lover. Reluctanly I decided to not see him anymore. For the tenth time. Promise this time I'll keep my word, I think. I just don't wanna do something to someone that I wish nobody would do to me. And really, I'm not in love with the guy as I was the last time I did this... so come on, although the sex is oh, so (literally) fucking good, gotta put brakes on it... Well, maybe if he's ever single, until then I better keep my panties on, at least around him...

Long time no see!

There's always something that I want to say, and then I just completely forget that I have my blog to write on... Duh. But most of the time I'm not around the pc, so I'm gonna try to remember the things I need to put down...
1. I got broken up (can I say that?) on the night before my 2 year anniversary. Not nice. The excuse was that he was moving anyway. Okay, he is to move this Wednesday, hence 2 weeks after the day we broke up, so if that was true, he'd have waited up to the his last day here. I wasn't born yesterday, I know he wanted to party on New Year's. His sisters cried, his friend told me he didn't approve what he had done, and a guy that I don't know said that he was a jerk with me. I rest my case.
2. On the same subject, God has been tremensdously good to me, people have come to me to give support, my friends are with me all the time and there hasn't been a day that I spent alone. Either I have plans with the girl, or there is a hot guy to go out with, or if I am alone, is because I chose to.
3. My life is definetely good, no reason to complain, and the only thing left is college which I'll soon have an answer.

As usual, so many people started talking to me that I forgot what I was going to write, so nevermind, as soon as I remember I'll post again...