Its been so long since I last wrote.
I thought I shouldn't see you again but I did it last night. We ended up getting together and afterwards during a conversation you told me you couldn't fall in love again anytime soon. I couldn't get more the hint that you had no feelings for me whatsoever. And you also said that you cared a lot for me and liked me, thats all, and also that you belive that we fall in love with a person as time goes by.
Either way, I'm done. I love you and I know that as a fact and I just can't stand the idea that you don't love me back. I felt lonely and used. I don't belive that we "eventually" fall in love with someone, and even if that was true you had plenty of time to fall in love with me.
You know when we cut ourselves and then we need stiches, and how much annoying they are, and how much it hurts but we need to do that to get well? That's how I feel. I got myself "stiched" last night. It hurts like hell, but it is what I needed to do be okay.
I still love you and i know it will take a while until I let this go. I hope you don't call me b/c I really won't answer although I want to. I just can't stand the fact you don't love me back and I can't go on with that. I ought to just learn to let it go and move on. I hope you'll find someone someday you'll love. I wish I was her. Oh-well...
"You're in my mind
All of the time
I know that's not enough
If the sky can crack
There must be some way back
For love and only love"