There is so fucking much in my head and I just can't put it on paper. On the blog. Whatever.
I'm scared, but I wanna do this. I want this so bad, sometimes I think its b/c I want you.
I'm not supposed to want this, to want you. Maybe I'll throw this all up for nothing, I'll loose time, money, a piece of my heart. I'm keeping this to myself.
Fuck it. I hate when the words go lost in my head... and to make it even worse all this things are running through my head and I can't write it down.
Everybody tells me the same thing, what I belive, or that I want to belive? You say what you want, and it sounds like fantasy. R we fantasizing about us? R we imagining things in a way that is not real? Could real life be different and not the way we want it to be? I don't know, I guess I'm just afraid to loose you in the most precious way I can have you. My friend.