New me

When I was a teenager I used to be authentic, used to dress up uniquely, used to be myself. I don't know why, but after I went to the US I lost that identity. Maybe b/c I felt like I "had to blend" there, I had to fit, b/c it wasn't my home and even when I came back I was just the same.
Before that, everytime I broke up with some one or that I thought that I need a change I'd dye my hair red. Okay, it was always the same colour (well, once I dyed black...), but for me it ment a turning point on whatever was going on. I also remember I had my own way to dress up, sometimes I was wearing all black, other time I would have a skirt on with little chinese shoes and a coat, very girly!! But I was always my way...
Today I decided I had to go back to that, it was fun, and even when I would dress up weirdly I was happy about it, b/c it was different. It never was something bizarr like pink hair, weird clothes. I dyed my hair and had my sister to cut my bangs and had my toe and finger nails done. Chocolate, a light brown. And then you say... SO? Well, I've always hated dark nails, and NEVER, EVER had my toes done. And just to allow myself to do so, I've changed. It feels great. Its retarded, I know, but who cares.... :)