The day I was possessed by a deamon

I knew this would eventually happen and I tried to prepair myself for it, but when the moment of meeting my ex came, I just didn't know what to do. I'm sure whatever possessed me knew...
As I saw him passing behind my friend trying to pull I girl I got so mad that I threw my water bottle on the floor and it spilled all over the people who were around me. I'm so sorry!
I wanted to follow him but my friend didn't let me and then when I went to the bathroom he was there, talking to the girl. Bitch. Him, not her, I didn't even know the girl... And we talked, argued, I yelled, screamed, cried and we eventually hooked up. And cried, cried, cried...
I don't know what's gonna happen, I stopped analyzing everything it didn't work the first time and I don't think it's gonna work now... I felt good for a while, but now I'm feeling bad again because I went through his profile and saw things that pissed me off and now I'm all insecure, specially because I can't talk to him now... he's probably sleeping but my mind doesn't allow me to settle for that... this is just too abnoxious and I don't know what to do, I hate being in love with him, I just wanna let this go and yet, it's so hard... The worst thing is that I keep doing all this stuff that hurts me, like checking his profile and all.. I'm so pathetic... I better do something useful and go to bed...